Ahh now sitting in an internet cafe at 1.37am in the morning where your mates are OBSESED with dota is fun...but when ur really not that good and all ur mates tease u for feeding (dieing with such fequency that the game is usually over b4 it begins) theres really one thing to do ...blog .. well atempt to blog.... and i no im not the best speller.. buuut hu really give a flying .....well u get the picture :D

my names benjamin , and thats the only time im going to say my full name not because its silly, stupid or makes me sound like an idiot but because ive spent 15 or so years being called that and im sick of it ..mainly cuz i get called it wen im in trouble, oviously if im sick of that name im in trouble alot...but hey were only human and we usually learn , or atempt to learn from or mistakes not that my mother would beleive me sooo benj or banjo.

im 20 birthdays on 30th of june cant wait till next year tho 21st is going to b mean!! and i really dnt wana get any older so it stops at 21..

not only do i stay 21 foreva mwhahah but i get a kick ass party every year :)

another exciting thing that ill broadcast around flating soon !! well 2nd atempt to flat..

went flating in one of my fathers propertyz annnnd ...........failed.... i did learn one very important leason tho....my dads gf really doesnt like me, mynd u if she harasses me and verbaly abuses me she really should have seen the retaliation coming..lets just say a few "very polite" words were said annd im no longer living there anymore.

hmm i really should mention my friends in this blog introduction, as chances are everyone who decides to read this blog will enjoy a laugh as they sit in front of there computers waiting for a update on every1's disfunctional lives, the main people apart from myself hu make epic and excitting aperances will be blink and waydo-extremo i use there nick names just to make thing a tiny bit more mysterious, tiny being the optimal word as every1 who knows them will un-doutably give them shit as i no all there deepest darkest secrets and ofcorse im going to spill till my fingers hurt myt take a few weeks buuut ull come to know them hopfully just as well as i do :D

now lets see me, myself and i...

well we've established my name and age so lets get into the interesting stuff...

negatives, "Hi my names benj and im addicted to smoking"

Its a nasty habit and i hate it, evan tho im a smoker i really do tell people not too, i made the mistake to start and im paying the price MONEY wise howeva evan tho i hate it, the relaxation it gives is rather spine tingling not to mention the head rush, thats half the addiction..blink who lives with me decided that me and him would conduct a little experiment and we found out two very interesting things,,(A) were both addicted to the nicotine and not the habit of smoking and (B) herbal smokes taste like ass.

We also discovered that its not the act of smoking that calms you down (if you are a smoker that smokes 4 stress reasons) its the controlled breathing as u inhale and exhale a cigarette (who new) sadly picked it up through bar tending, large crowds, big orders, trying to do everything right massive amounts of stress and i was studying at the same time (MAINZ) and was functioning on around 5-6 hours of sleep a night, it hurt and well smoking calmed me down whats gross is i was one of those pack a day smokers buut now im down to around 8 or 9 a day its a personal goal im rather happy to achieve. and ova this year im gona try quit :D

I suppose another negative yet slightly interesting thing that i really would like other peoples opinions on is jealousy... im sure theres plenty of guys ad girls out there that just get all fired up when ur crush or gf/bf is hanging out with someone of the opposite sex, i mean personally its not a matter of trust or that lack of, but more because you dont trust the person there with :S

a personal example an ex girl friend of mine kept talking bout her ex boy friend and how horrible there relationship was, and i mean from what i hurd it was fracking awfull..abuse on many levels sexual, verbal and physical i couldnt beleive that one person could go through that for 6 months and not ditch the wanker.. howeva this ex of mine told me her ex was still "in love with her"
(and i say that in quotation marks because at this age its imposible to fall in love well it hapens but its very rare ill go more into this later on).. and how he kept wanting meet up with her ..knowing all the things hes done to her i told her that it was a stupid idea and really what was she thinking..but being her she went behind my back and you gessed they hooked up :O wow what a shock lol, now im not totally heartless soo after kicking the shit out of him me n her patched things up were "ok" together but the feeling in my stomach didnt go away the trust was gone and this is my gripe that feeling of u not trusting her being with anyother guys alone long story short a month later she goes off has sex with someone else and well i wasnt going to b jerkd around so it was over

after that when intrested in a girl and i supose u kan say the unofficial dating stage and she goes to a party and well u no im sitting there thinking to myself there a combination of boys booze etc etc i kant help feeling well hopless haha and the feeling eats and eats and its just uncomfortable

does that happen to every1 or is it just that i have trust issues?? constructive criticism would b appreciated...

god this is depo lets get into the positives lol

MUSIC would have to be the best thing in my life, i studyd a dip in sound enginering and live sound production at MAINZ it was the best experience in my life not to mention the road trips 4 gigs were mint :D

im not going to mention what my fav bands are or my influences because in the world we live in most people judge you on wat u listen to, its silly i mean honestly we have so many different sub cultures in society based solely on what type of music peopl listen too.... (roles eyes) and just to take the piss out of one said culture EMO'S lol

How many emo kids does it take to screw in a light bulb?
3 One to replace it, & two to write a poem about how they miss the old one.

its just too easy...

now i think its about time to start a new blog so ill sign off this this one enjoy ur nyt ladies and gentlemen

stay safe

:D

B